This Week's Crisis

Have I ever been so neurotic in all my life? Dubious.

This week's crisis stems from my super fabulous bachelorette getaway weekend in Phoenix. (No, I'm not the bachelorette. I'm still a traditional girl and I think it's nice to be married and THEN have the kids.) But my homie Chrissy is getting hitched so in a backwards-ass bachelorette party, she treated her three friends (I know, right?) to this spectacular getaway at this spa resort in Phoenix. One of our party, Joyce, is a doctor. She made some remark that I shouldn't be sleeping on my back because it'll be pressing down on important arteries. Meanwhile, I was thinking I was super great because I had weened myself off of sleeping on my stomach. Furthermore, of course I take this piece of advice to DOOM and GLOOM proportions, thinking I am killing myself and my child.

So now I've spent this week trying to train myself to sleep on my side. My LEFT side, because that's the best way for the baby to get blood and nutrients and all the life he sucks out of me. (Does this mean that I have been eating spinach in vain???) Holy shit, sleeping on your side is the most goddamn uncomfortable thing I have had to contend with throughout this whole pregnancy so far. It has made sleep this week a nightmare. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. If I can't sleep on my back, or my stomach, can I sleep sitting up? I think that would be way more comfortable than my side.

I know, I'm such a baby. I'll keep trying...