Happy Mother's Day To Me

I hadn't given much thought to it until John brought it up.

"Oooooooooooooooooo! Your first Mother's Day is coming up!"

So as the big day approached, my once nonexistent excitement gained momentum. The day before Mother's Day, I was super excited about our Mother's Day plans. My mom was going to have a brunch at her house and then our little family was going to go out to dinner. Lovely.

On Saturday, my mom was supposed to babysit Dally. Never missing an opportunity to show off the glorious wonder that is her grandson, she asked if she could take him to a little Mother's Day celebration for my grandma, my aunts, and other miscellaneous Mexicans. Here's some backstory. My mom is Mexican and therefore celebrates el Dia de las Madres on May 10, whenever the hell the day may land - which happened to be the Saturday before the Mother's Day for the country to which I swear allegiance.

I dressed my boy up in his tatoo art "Mommy" shirt and sent him on his way.

When I picked him up later that nght, I asked my mom what time we should come by tomorrow. She said, "Ay, I want to sleep in tomorrow." The subtext indicated there was to be no brunch.

It turns out she was all Mother's Dayed out.

I think she sensed my disappointment because she called me at the crack of dawn to invite us over, in our PJs, to have an improvised breakfast. Having nowhere else to go, we obliged.

Later that day, I realized John planned nothing and had nothing to give me. NOTHING. I carried his child for nine months. And when the kid came out, he was actually great looking. And I got nothing.

This really sucks because our nanny, Norma, went out of her way to do something special for my first Mother's Day. It involved hand-tracing and a photo shoot. There's a reason I love that woman more than most of my blood-relatives.

Later in the afternoon, as I continued to wallow in my self-pity, something horrible dawned on me. I had to go into the office the next day. GOOD GOD! People were sure to ask me what I did for Mother's Day! What John gave me for Mother's Day! And I would have to say "Nothing." What a loser.

So then I said this to John:
"You better go get me a present. I'm not going to show up at work tomorrow and say you didn't get me anything for Mother's Day. I don't want you to look like an asshole."

He made some lame excuse saying he had to go to Home Depot and when he came back, he had a nicely wrapped present for me and a box of (dark) Godiva chocolates. Dark, which is key because this means he really felt like an ass. Usually, he just grabs whatever, and whatever is usually milk, and I hate milk chocolate. But the biggie was the Magic Bullet. I've been wanting this thing forever but he said it was stupid. Not so stupid when he was desperate for a gift.

Like a little kid, once I got my Magic Bullet I forgot all about what a mean and evil man my Baby Daddy was. I ended the night making myself a rather delicious smoothie. Two words: AWE SOME.

And by the way... Being my first Mother's Day, I would have thought my dad would call to wish me a happy day. He didn't. He called a few days later and I said, "Hey thanks for calling me on Mother's Day."

"Oh my God, I forgot you were a mother!"

This was after he asked how the baby was doing.