I'll be five months pregnant next week and maybe it's the hormones or that people are just morons but I'm quickly tiring of the "WOW! You're SO BIG! Are you SURE it's not twins?" remarks. Are people being funny or just jackasses? It doesn't help that this question is mostly coming from people that I normally find irritating.
So read on Assholes.
I can assure you there is only one baby, and the baby is growing at a normal rate, and so am I. How do I know this? Because I just had an ultrasound on Tuesday. There is one baby. And if you keep talking shit to his mama, he's going to punch your lights. Second-borns, as my dear auntie Marybel once told me, come out of the womb fighting. (Yes, it's a boy.)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
My Bloody Baby
OH MY GOD. Dally's been having bloody noses lately but they've been happening while he was sleeping so he would wake up with bloody crusty nostrils and stained bedding. But today as I was putting him down for his nap, I saw it in action and it was THE FREAKIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. He kept wiping his nose, smearing his face with blood.
I sort of panicked.
I wiped the blood from his face but it kept coming out. Then I yanked him out of his crib and threw him in the bath. He was having a blast in the tub for bath #2 today. Meanwhile his nose kept on bleeding. I would wipe, it would come back. Wipe, more blood. I then thought, "OK, he's not going to die. This isn't a reason to call 911. It's just a bloody nose."
Then I thought, "It would be really disturbing if I took a picture of him."
A minute later I thought, "I've GOT to stop the bleeding. He COULD bleed to death!" So I tried to distract him by looking up (which now I know you're NOT supposed to do). Then I had the brilliant idea to turn on the shower and that scared the living shit out of him. So I pulled him out of the tub and just laid him out on his changing table.
The bleeding stopped somewhere in the ten feet it took me to go from the bathroom to his room. I laid him out in PJs and now he's sleeping. And I have just finished researching toddlers and bloody noses. Turns out they're not all that uncommon and supposedly not serious. Still, I think a trip to the doctor is in order.
Christ, may you never have to see your baby look like Carrie (post pig blood).
I sort of panicked.
I wiped the blood from his face but it kept coming out. Then I yanked him out of his crib and threw him in the bath. He was having a blast in the tub for bath #2 today. Meanwhile his nose kept on bleeding. I would wipe, it would come back. Wipe, more blood. I then thought, "OK, he's not going to die. This isn't a reason to call 911. It's just a bloody nose."
Then I thought, "It would be really disturbing if I took a picture of him."
A minute later I thought, "I've GOT to stop the bleeding. He COULD bleed to death!" So I tried to distract him by looking up (which now I know you're NOT supposed to do). Then I had the brilliant idea to turn on the shower and that scared the living shit out of him. So I pulled him out of the tub and just laid him out on his changing table.
The bleeding stopped somewhere in the ten feet it took me to go from the bathroom to his room. I laid him out in PJs and now he's sleeping. And I have just finished researching toddlers and bloody noses. Turns out they're not all that uncommon and supposedly not serious. Still, I think a trip to the doctor is in order.
Christ, may you never have to see your baby look like Carrie (post pig blood).
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