Note to Self

Yo Mabelle, one of the reasons that it is important to keep this record of your life pre-baby is because it seems that once a human becomes a parent - she foregoes what all is important in life pre-baby. This ranges from common sense to personal style to home decor.

I KNOW. I GET IT. Baby comes first.

But since you talk a lot of smack right now, I want you to be able to look back at this and remind yourself of what you think is completely unacceptable. So Mabelle, here are a few things you should remember.

1. Being a parent does not give you license to have toys scattered all over the place (or at least when company comes over).

2. Being a parent does not give you license to look like a slob (at least when you go out in public). And this goes for pregnant chicks too. I'm of the opinion that when you're pregnant, you look your worst. Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the gross assymmetry of the pregnant body? That said, an expectant mom really should put earrings on, or good shoes, or something to make it look like she hasn't prematurely surrendered to the hell that is in her imminent future.

3. Being a parent does not give you license to just sit around, eat donuts, and watch from the window as life passes you by. Keep moving! Now's not the time to get SOFT! I've heard it time and time again. "You have no idea how exhausting your life will be." You know what else is exhausting? Worrying about where the Size 4 You is and if she'll ever return again. So you're signed up for your first half marathon, post baby. It's about four weeks after the birth so the doc says you are pushing it but if all goes well (cross your fingers they don't cut you up), she's given you the greenlight. You'll only be walking, but it's 13 miles and it's the perfect kickoff for your running season. You should expect to run a half marathon in early spring. Now that it's in writing, there's no backing out...